“Between what matters and what seems to matter, how should the world we know judge wisely?” -E.C. Bentley
This week, I have decided to critique “Dentist in Manchester Serves Community for Over 50 Years.” Not bad, Richard Berube. You got your title down to eight words. But! Did you remember to say “more than” instead of “over”? Doesn’t look like it. Tisk tisk.
In general, the writing for this press release was pretty much good. There were a few typos and a few AP style errors, but I’d say since they’re trying to get a reporter to look at this, they did a good job. Their title was what their story was about, they were objective and avoided promotional language and they were concise and to the point at the beginning and they let the journalist have a good overview of the details. They even added in a quote, and that quote was even correctly attributed!
This type of news release was a pyramid, because the story was about a dentistry that served for over 50 years. It was some soft news if I do say so myself. Alsooo, I’d say this story is newsworthy because it’s unique. How many dentists can say they have a dentistry that’s that old?! I found this on a website, so I assume that’s how they decided to distribute it.
That’s my final word.
Question of the week: If the world was ending and you had to pitch a news release to a journalist about it, what would your topic sentence be?